Here’s an email accidentally forwarded to me by a client. As usual I would like to highlight that, aside from the names, nothing has been changed.
As we were involved in project to clean our client database, I noticed that you were still active in our system to receive research. Unfortunately, since you haven’t traded since 2007 –you will be deactivated from our site. I would love to re-establish a business relationship with your firm.. Please let me know if you would like to discuss.
A. Toole, Clueless Securities
I like the fun use of the word “Team” XYZ – that’s cute, and so creative after five years of nothingness. You’re involved in a “project” to clean out your client data base? Who the fuck are you -online technical support for J Crew’s catalog distribution list?
2007? Really guy? You’ve been giving your firm’s product away for five years now and just realizing the last time the client traded with you was in 2007? I can’t figure out who you’re doing a worse job for – the client or your firm.
“If you are interested in re-establishing a relationship with with my firm then please let me know before I deactivate you from our data base” because I am a complete jerk off.
Dude – How about YOU try picking up the phone for once and introducing yourself you dill weed. It’s the holiday season and most brokers on the street are going over their account lists making out Christmas cards and this dildo is combing through his data base purging clients. Nice touch.
Thanks for making the rest of us look better.