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Cowboy Wisdoms

  • Don’t name a pig you plan to eat.
  • Your fences need tobe horse high, pig tight, and bull strong.
  • Life ain’t about how fast you run, or how high you climb, but how well you bounce.
  • Keep skunks and bankers and lawyers at a distance.
  • Life is simpler when you plow around the stump.
  • A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor.
  • Words that soak into your ears are whispered … not yelled.
  • Meanness don’t jest happen overnight.
  • Forgive your enemies. It messes up their heads.
  • Don’t sell your mule to buy a plow.
  • Do not corner something that you know is meaner than you.
  • It don’t take a very big person to carry a grudge.
  • You cannot unsay a cruel word.
  • Every path has a few puddles.
  • When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty.
  • The best sermons are lived, not preached.
  • Most of the stuff people worry about ain’t never gonna happen anyway.
  • Don’t judge folks by their relatives.
  • Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
  • Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you’ll enjoy it a second time.
  • Don’t interfere with somethin’ that ain’t botherin’ you none.
  • Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.
  • It’s better to be a has-been than a never-was.
  • The easiest way to eat crow is while it’s still warm. The colder it gets, the harder it is to swaller.
  • If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin’.
  • If it don’t seem like it’s worth the effort, it probably ain’t.
  • It don’t take a genius to spot a goat in a flock of sheep.
  • Sometimes you get and sometimes you get got.
  • The biggest troublemaker you’ll probably ever have to deal with watches you shave his face in the mirror every mornin’.
  • If you get to thinkin’ you’re a person of some influence, try orderin’ somebody else’s dog around.
  • Don’t worry about bitin’ off more ‘n you can chew; your mouth is probably a whole lot bigger’n you think.
  • Only cows know why they stampede.
  • Always drink upstream from the herd.
  • If you’re ridin’ ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it’s still there with ya.
  • Lettin’ the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin’ it back in.
  • The quickest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it back into your pocket.
  • You can’t tell how good a man or a watermelon is ’til they get thumped.(Character shows up best when tested.)
  • Never miss a good chance to shut up.
  • If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen are defrocked, shouldn’t it follow that cowboys would be deranged?
  • There never was a horse that couldn’t be rode; Never was a cowboy who couldn’t be throwed.
  • Real cowboys never run, they just ride away.
  • Never slap a man who’s chewing tobacco.
  • Diplomacy is the art of saying “Nice doggie” until you can find a rock.
  • There are three kinds of men: The ones that learn by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence.
  • There’s many theories about arguin’ with a Woman, None of them Work.
  • Being silent, may be your best answer.
  • Cowboy Up or go sit in the Truck.
  • It’s hard to put a foot in a closed mouth.
  • Do it right or get off the Horse.
  • The challenge is not always saying what you mean, but to say it with as few words as possible.
  • If you’r sittin’ at the counter eatin’ leave your hat on, but if your’ sittin’ at the table take it off.
  • I wish there was time for one more bowl of chili.
  • Every trail has puddles, son.
  • No matter where you go. There you are.
  • If somebody outdraws you boy, walk away. There’s plenty o’ time to look tough when your outta’ sight.
  • When in doubt, let your Horse do the thinkin’.
  • He’s studying to be a half-wit.
  • Never kick a cow patty on a hot day.
  • Tough Enough.
  • Sometimes we have summer all winter and winter all summer, but regulararly’ we have no rain.
  • When they lay me down to rest, put my spurs and rope upon’ my chest, get my friends to carry me and lay my Horse next to me.
  • Don’t just lay there and bleed.
  • Never corner something meaner than you.
  • Scars are Cowboy Tattoos with better stories.
  • Boy, if your Horse aint wanting to go there, neither should you.
  • Learn to speak kind words, nobody resents them.
  • Howdy Partner.
  • Sure you can trust the Government, ask any Indian.
  • The Buck stops here.
  • Never give your Horse more attention than your wife, unless you like sleeping in the Barn.
  • There’s nothing better for a mans soul than being outside on a Horse.
  • Only out on the Range can you find yourself.
  • If duct tape can’t fix it, it aint broke.
  • A Cowboy never betrays a trust.
  • I whisper but my Horse doesn’t listen.
  • Cuss all you want… around men, horses, and cows.
  • Whoa Nellie!
  • Don’t spoil his fun, let him play with it.
  • Leavin’ ‘em Standing.
  • Back off city boy.
  • A Bull is like a dancing partner, you just have to let him lead.
  • Excuse me sir, your bleeding on my boot.
  • I reckon this is gonna hurt a little.
  • Size does matter, the bigger your buckle the better.
  • When I die, I may not go to Heaven, ‘Cause I donno if they let Cowboys in.
  • Give me a stiff one, Barkeep.
  • Remember these two words Son. Saddle Sore!
  • It’s better to be a has been than a never was.
  • Don’t stop kickin till the clock stops tickin.
  • Ride it like you stole it.
  • Don’t wake a sleepin’ Rattler.
  • Your buckle don’t shine in the dirt, get up.
  • You stay here while I sneak around from the back.
  • Never joke with mules or cooks as they have no sense of humor.
  • That horse could buck a mans whiskers plum off.
  • Ridin’ a Horse is like dancing, you gotta feel the rhythm and move with it.
  • I’ve been dreamin’ bout it near all my life.
  • Hold it right there! Now, mover your hand, reeeal slow-like.
  • Mount Up.
  • Cattle know why they Stampede, but they aint’ a talkin’.
  • Let’s Mount Up.
  • Ready or Not…
  • Admire that big Horse son, but saddle that small one.
  • Don’t ever try on another mans Hat, it’s like getting’ on his Horse or Woman.
  • Lets Ride.
  • More Whiskey and fresh Horses for my men.
  • Rode hard and put away wet.
  • The fastest way to move Cattle is slowly.
  • Never approach a Bull from the front, a Horse from the rear, or a Fool from any direction.
  • Don’t worry ‘bout bitin’ off more than you can chew, your mouth is bigger’n you think.
  • Never drink downstream from your horse.
  • Cowboys never have enough Guns, Dogs, or Pickup Trucks.
  • He’s plumb weak north of his ears.
  • If you’re riding ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and again to see if they are still with ya.
  • If you’re gonna drive cattle thru town, do it on Sunday. There’s little traffic and people are less disposed to cuss at ya.’
  • God bless them, there, Cowgirls.
  • That boys so good he can cut a gopher from his hole.
  • She’s as pretty as a wagon.
  • Well Butter my Butt and call me Biscut.
  • Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway.
  • He can’t throw a wet blanket.
  • Never walk when you can ride.
  • Never get up before breakfast, but if you have to…eat breakfast first!
  • He’ll be all over that like a chicken on a June bug!
  • …to ride, shoot straight and speak the truth!
  • The best doctor in the world is the Veterinarian. He can’t ask his patients what is the matter-he’s got to just know. – Will Rogers
  • Cowboy Up
  • Whiskey for my Men, Beer for my Horses.
  • Save a Horse ride a Cowboy.
  • That beats anything I ever helt, felt or smelt.
  • I took to the life of a cowboy like a horse takes to oats.
  • Nature gave us all something to fall back on, and sooner or later we all land flat on it.
  • Boots, chaps and cowboy hats…. nothing else matters.
  • Ain’t nothin’ like ridin’ a fine horse in new country.
  • Nobody ever drowned in his own sweat.
  • If your not makin’ dust your eattin’ it.
  • Talk slow, talk low, and don’t talk too much. – John Wayne
  • Before cussing the boss, saddle your horse.
  • Life is hard, but its harder when you’re stupid.
  • She’s as pretty as a wagon.
  • Ride it like you stole it.
  • Never corner something meaner than you.
  • Every trail has puddles.
  • Never drink unless your alone or with somebody
  • Talk slowly, think quickly.
  • Careful as a naked man climbin’ a barbed wire fence.
  • Cowboys don’t take bath, they just dust off.