In this business when you switch firms, there’s a slight chance that when you leave a firm you might actually miss one or two people – It’s unlikely, but possible. On the other hand, since this industry is filled with arrogance, self centeredness and over inflated egos, there is a 100% chance you’re glad to be leaving at least 75% of your old coworkers behind. I’m not ragging on anyone (past or present), I’m just saying that we as traders have a certain mentality and and the average trader/sales trader after working more than one year for any firm will end up ‘just tolerating’ 70-80% of their trading desk. You can try and tell yourself different, but you know it’s true. You end up with your go-to guys, another handful of people you trust (but not too much) and a couple juniors. It’s easier for traders to get along with people more junior then themselves because they’re not a threat (yet) – you just buy them lunch and POOF! – instant friends.
Let me put it this way… If you came to work wearing a new pair of khakis and failed to remove the long sticker that says 34 x 32, 34 x 32, 34 x 32 all the way down the side of your pant leg, odds are not one person in the trading room will tell you but most of them will be happy to point it out to others or just roll their eyes and shake their heads – It’s who we are. Another byproduct of living life in our competitive commission driven battlefield is that typically we view guys who do more business then ourselves as untrustworthy (and invent catty excuses as to why they are doing so well) and the guys doing less business are slackers who should be let go so that we can scavenge their accounts. We’re not nice people.
I recently picked up coverage of an account that an ex-coworker covers. As soon as I rattled off the list of firms I previously worked for, my new would-be client said, “Oh so you must be friends with Jimmy Shine… He still covers me there.” For a sales trader introducing himself, this is always a tricky predicament. When a new client gives you room to state your opinion about somebody you believe to be a complete d-bag – what do you do? The pressure is real and your response could make you or break you with the account. You have only two choices. 1) take the shot, bury the ex-coworker and hope the client is a regular dude who gets it. If done correctly, this is hands down the best ways to start your professional working relationship and paves the way for cheap shots that could last a lifetime… or 2) be all political and say something like, “You know it was a big shop and I never really got to know Jimmy that Well”. This may come as a shock to some of you but personally, I always take the shot.
Although thinking back… as glad as I am to be rid of Jimmy, if nothing else, he was entertaining. At first I thought he was just another run of the mill drama queen because of his tendency to get real serious, real fast. I remember sitting next to the guy for less than a week and he was already asking my advice. “Can I ask you something?”... “What would you do in this situation?”… Thank you sooo much, that’s great advice”… It was strange, like I was sitting next to Tom Hanks in the movie Big who was thrown into a man’s world with no experience being a man at all. Then like most things do, he really began to annoy me.
One day he leans in an says, “I’ve asked my client seven times for a dinner and he keeps telling me he’ll come back to me with a date but he never does. I mean seriously, what would you do – you’re good at this?” It sounded like this zero was one Bloomberg away from getting a restraining order put against him but he asked for advice so why not give it. After some deep though and reflecting on my past experiences with clients who played hard to get, here’s the advice I gave him, “Bro- you’re a JACKASS! He doesn’t want to go to dinner with you so stop asking. It really is that simple.” It didn’t take long to realize that he didn’t really care about the answers to his dimwitted questions, this was his adaptation of the dumb-blonde game, his way of dealing with people and his loser formula for forging relationships.
He pulled the same shit, but only worse, with clients and believe it or not it actually worked for him. I once heard him call four different clients back-to-back in his scared little boy voice asking if they had a good dermatologist because he found a spot on his back he was concerned with. All he wanted was people thinking about him. If even one of those four clients called him back the next day to ask how he made out at the doctor then that was a win for Jimmy. There’s no doubt this brokertard is still up to the same tricks and there are clients (maybe even some of you reading this) who actually feel obligated to take care of this zero.
Oh please – It’s a Jedi mind trick – don’t fall for it. It’s his underhanded way manipulating your ego and placing you on a concocted pedestal. He’s playing the human nature card and understands that if he can convince you he looks up to you, chances are you’ll watch out for him. You’re not his mentor so don’t fall into his crap trap. He doesn’t give a shit about your opinion, he wants your business. “How are the kids? That’s great, just great.. You always seem to plan such great family vacations where do you think i should take my family this winter?” …”I knew I asked the right person… Thanks man. And by the way I’m a size seller of XYZ.”…. Every single call this guy makes has an fabricated question with puppy dog sincerity tied to it.
Man up,
Dopey
One a side note: Incase you were wondering how I made out with the prospective client… I took the shot, told the client what I really thought about Jimmy Shine and it blew up in my face. Turns out this guy was in Shine’s wedding party. Win some, you lose some.
