I have been covered by quite a few salestraders in my short (but long by trader’s dog years) career. There have been morons, self proclaimed geniuses, young partiers, hyper focused types, hard workers, go getters, flow sellers, idea generators, ticket pushers, guilt trippers, food forcers and so on. I am sure you’ve met one if not all of these guys. But the worst is the old dog who needs to be put out to pasture.
Let’s face it, if you are in the trading business past 37 you are too old and shouldn’t have been divorced so many times or you would be reliving the glory days in some retirement home in south Jersey talking about the time Mattingly eyed you down cause you heckled him from behind the dish or the time you crossed 150k shares 1×2 ways for an eighth. I have this one guy who covers me and I call him Timex. He is like an ancient watch handed down for generations. This guy is really bitter. He is always late to the punch but at the same time knows everything. When I ask him anything he gets all flippant and acts like a jerk older brother. Sometimes he drones on about his family life. Oh man, I pay him the respect due and try not to snore but wow these geesers just go on and on cause at home they are dominated and their only glimmer of hope is the wifey puts on a rerun of that whacked out Asian kid from the first American Idol.
So Timex is always bestowing wall street lore on me. Telling me about quarters and eighths and a bunch of other shit that has gone the way of the dinosaur and will never come back (just like he should). Timex gets to hang on cause he plays it cool on the desk and the boss doesn’t have the heart to put him out to pasture. Odds are Timex babysat his boss as a kid so it is a tough situation for both. Contrary to what you might think, he has confidence because he has spent so many years lying to clients he believes himself now.
He loves to play the “Come on let’s go out – I am not another broker trying to bleed you” card. Then when you get out it is like a tornado combo of all of the styles mentioned above. Timex has been at his game so long he goes from one style to the other effortlessly and seemlessly. Younger buysiders don’t stand a chance. You need to have been stuck at one too many sausage fests to see this dupe coming.
Timex does of course have a family and kids. He likes to send their pictures around as the peak guilt play. Kinda like Sally Struthers does when she televises images of those filthy little third world delinquents. We are supposed to feel guilty if we don’t support the college fund. But Timex should have thought about this when he started, he didn’t have to marry the highest end lady in the tri-state nor did he have to take down a lifestyle he could only afford if he hit peak earnings forever. But he was undoubtedly convinced of his own skill and knew he could always go form a real business with a flow only shop if need be.
Well, here’s to you Timex and all of your compatriots. You are the glue of our fine establishment. Keep living the dream. Now go buy a convertible, a girlfriend you can’t afford and charge it to Obama.
-Town Drunk
