I was driving into work today and heard a song on 92.3 FM that made me want to join the Taliban. It was punishing. Speaking of punishment and Islamic terrorism, I think we should ban water boarding and force detainees to listen to Lady GaGa’s recent hit single “Love Games”. I would much rather experience the sensation of drowning over having to catch a single note of that unharmonious defecation ever again. It had a profound effect on me but not quite the same one that I experienced when I first heard Rush’s “Tom Sawyer”. This was quite a different musical sensation.
I heard the lyrics….. ‘Let’s have some fun, this beat is sick, I wanna take a ride on your disco stick’ …….and wanted to bomb radio stations across the country. I remembered the first time I heard Living Loving Maid by Led Zeppelin and then Lady GAGA continued her hideous rant and I began fantasizing about serially murdering anyone who has ever downloaded the song and eventually mass genocide. I know it sounds horrible to say but I want everyone responsible for the song’s production to die excruciatingly painful deaths. I want any human being who has ever heard, downloaded and enjoyed it or perhaps even began singing and tapping their steering wheels to it to spontaneously combust in front of their loved ones. I want them dead, all of them dead.
The sad thing is that this evil wave of pure hatred that I felt 2 hours ago still rages within me now. If I could push a button and cause Lady GAGA to get cervical cancer I would break my hand on it. What has happened to this country? Our forefathers ,Jimmy Hendrix, and Wolf man Jack must all be spinning in their graves. The population of the United States of America represented by the mighty eagle has been reduced to a gaggle of baby birds mindlessly waiting with teeny beaks agape for the media to shove whatever it deems edible down their feeble throats.
This whole Michael Jackson thing is truly eye opening. Listening to people discuss what a tragedy his passing is makes me want to puke. Anyone mourning that loser’s death can join my Lady GAGA hit list. A mother of 3 from Tucson Arizona dying of cancer is tragic. A surgically manipulated pedophile who drops dead of an overdose is a fucking godsend. Everywhere I turn nowadays I am sickened further. Where are the role models I had when I was a kid? Why do debutant hookers who make sex porns and reality TV shows with double digit IQ’s hold the reigns ? Paris Hilton ? Fergie ? Lady GAGA ? They should all stop spewing from their mouths and just do what they do best and start taking it in their corn holes like the sluts they truly are.
So next time you see a smart ass teenager blasting a Black Eyes Peas song take them under your wing. Expose them to the wonders of a band that actually has some talent like Led Zeppelin. Tell them that they are simply experiencing a “communication breakdown” and are “ dazed and confused”. There are “good times bad times” and “over the hills and far away” “ the song remains the same”. If they don’t respond to that they can get “trampled underfoot” because “what is and what should never be” is a tramp like Lady GAGA influencing our youth………………….”Thank You”
-Gambler
