The year was 1993, I had landed my first industry job busting my ass in the back office for one of the top bulge bracket firms on Wall Street. I got shit on, screamed at and berated by at least five people a every day of my entry-level life. Sometimes justified, mostly not. I learned early that in most cases it was best not to respond at all, and on the rare occasion I did… I made sure it wasn’t loud enough for anyone to hear. When there were problems that needed addressing I would wait until nobody was looking and then quietly pull the person aside or send him an email. Most of the time the only thing you got for your help was a disrespectful “whatever”, but you did it anyway – it was your job. Life at the bottom of the trading barrel sucked, the hours were twice as long as the prick producers and nobody appreciated you. You’re job was to eat shit and wait for your chance.
But it was this military-like hierarchy that gave the new guys depth, appreciation for the business, respect for senior people and it was that hierarchy that kept the machine moving. Now-a-days the new generation of Wall Street no longer learns by being chewed out, nor do they have the desire or even know how to even listen to any type of rebuke without rebuttal. It’s this low man on the totem-pole talk back bullshit that usually engages U.S – North Korean nuclear type show downs on my desk – which always paints me as the bad guy.
In Corporate America and it’s politically correct cushy-cushy world, people are no longer accustomed to being addressed in anyway that faintly resembles being blunt. Remember the days when you called the little bitch trader a “fag” cause he was afraid to risk capital? You asked him what it was like to have to squat when you took a piss or if he needed to go check his bacon strip after “stopping out” the big guy. These things are enough to get you fired these days or at least get you a front row seat before the diversity committee. God forbid, you ask the new assistant to get you lunch or do you a favor and pick up something from friggin’ Rite Aid… you’ll wind up cutting a six figure check for the emotional trauma he experienced.
What the righteous establishment is missing, is that hazing in this industry built comradery and ultimately better employees. There were reasons behind the ball busting, it weeded out the weak and only the strong survived. When a young sales trader used the wrong terminology while talking to a customer, the senior people tortured him, made fun of him and fucked with him for the rest of the day. Guess what? He didn’t do it again. When a Jr. guy, who’s never bought lunch yet, partial’d everyone else’s print, you called him pigeon and played seagull noises on your computer. Guess what? He got the point. You learned never to trade errors, and you learned how to trade customer orders correctly and protect the client. Terms like “he pulled your pants down” or “you just nailed your client nailed in the ass” might have seemed vulgar, but guess what, they were effective. Lessons were being learned. The people who run our firms love to use analogies which makes us comparable to the military or a sports franchise. Phrases like “one team one dream”, “ we are all in the same foxhole” , “we’re only as strong as our weakest link”, are thrown around like Nolan Ryan fastballs. Well guess what? If you ever play on a football team or ever join the marine corp… you’re going to get hazed.
They break you down , and build you back up into what they feel will be successful. Instead we live in a world where half of the country wants to impeach the former President of the United States cause he water boarded 3 terrorist, who were only guilty of planning the destruction of the World Trade Center and whose ultimate goal was the downfall of the U.S govt. “Joe Mainstreet” ……lets stop here for a second, what dumbass came up with the term Joe Mainstreet, probably the same jackass who decided to cast Lori Petty as the hot surfer chick in Point Break… sorry, Joe MainStreet loves to blame the ill’s of society on Wall street’s greed, when maybe we should be looking elsewhere. Maybe it was the fat bitch who sued McDonalds for having hot coffee, and the 10 million people who feigned whiplash after having little fender benders. Don’t see the connection? I do. There’s no teamwork in community anymore, its all about me, myself and I. We have no choice, people aren’t trying to help us succeed or make us better. People only want to take what is ours, whether its your money, commissions or your house. We are afraid that we are going to be sued, so we live scared and careful. We build silos.
We don’t want to interact – we protect. Wall Street didn’t come up with that concept. Main Street spread that concept out like a cancer, unfortunately and like the rest of the country, we weren’t immune. Sure we made more money, had a better time and were proud of what we did. Why wouldn’t we be? It was a fraternity. I don’t want to hear women complain to me about that word either, cause you were part of it and as thick skinned as all of us. Hell, maybe the team work was why we made more.
This morning I asked one of the Jr. guys on my desk why he was long Glo-Worm. .. He declared ” the only position he had was GLW” and proceeded to explain to me that ” GLW was the ticker for Corning”. No fucking shit it’s Corning! The guy sucks at his job and he needs a lesson in humility. I wanted to tell him he trades the way a fat person fucks, but since he’s already complained about me to the entire organization, I decided to bite my tongue. According to him I ride the desk too hard and treat every situation like The Cuban Missile Crisis. I’ll leave him alone in his silver spoon silo and then I’ll go get lunch, myself.
-Six gun
