So there’s this Ivy-leaguer in my office with an over-inflated sense of entitlement, who would happily tip his own grandmother out of her wheelchair into a pool of hungry piranha if he thought it would help him climb just one single step up the corporate ladder. This is the guy that everybody needs to keep a close eye on. This guy can’t go more than twenty minutes without at least trying to throw someone under the bus. He wants the boss’s job so bad he can taste it. The bulk of his work days are spent attaching and reattaching his knee pads while he sucks ass in the corner office. He spends more time in boss’s office than the boss. Even the boss knows he wants his job. The only reason he’s still employed is because he’s a producer, and sadly, on Wall Street – not much more matters.
I like to refer to this guy as the “teacher”. He would be great guy to have as a partner in trivial pursuit, because he knows everything about everything.
The teacher likes to slither over, stand behind you and quietly read whatever emails or bloombergs you’ve left open. Apparently, he is also very interested in what web sites your currently surfing. You can sense him standing there, just hanging over you – I honestly believe he thinks you don’t feel him hovering. When you’re finally tired of him breathing down the back of your neck, you simply turn around and let him start in with his small talk, “So… what’s for lunch today?”… the whole time never taking his eyes off your screen. It’s just fucking creepy.
The teacher is an IDEA man. These ideas are often displayed through his visions of how things would be if he were in charge. His mother and father are probably to blame, for whatever reason, they must have infused in him with the thought that his opinion carries some sort of validity and therefore must be heard. I wish they would have just told him to shut the fuck up and take the garbage out like mine did.
Enjoy the day, Dopey