Since clients typically use their own language and often say one thing when they mean another, I thought I would offer some guidance and a few tips for some of you up and coming sales traders out to help you better understand what your typical buy-side trader is actually saying.
Sales Trading 101 – DopeyCowboy.com
Buy side traders like to try and throw you off the trail by using terms like “That takes me out of the name”, “I’m done” and “You can turn it off now”. What the client is really trying to tell you is that they still leave multiple seven figures on the ticket and they want you to call more. “I’m done” isn’t going put gas in your H2 or refurnish your pool house. Stay on’em.
Never over service your clients. Keep expectations low. This will help you in the long run.
When a client gives you an order for 25k or less and says “that’s all I have” – that’s bullshit, they’re screwing with you. There’s always more. At least seven figures.
When you find a natural, make your first cross a big one and pray the trade isn’t followed by one your clients saying “I’m just going to watch for a while.” More often than not, those words are usually followed by a seven figure print in Pipeline and a “done for day”.
If your trading desk is involved in a stock that one of your clients is a page one holder of – No matter how many time they try tell you they’re not involved, they have the other side of the trade. Nothing else makes sense, so grab on to his leg and don’t let go.
The second you hear “Great job”, you had better go back and take a closer look at what just happened. Somebody’s being sarcastic. Start with time and sales.
Some clients will lead you to believe they don’t do dinners, drinks or go out socially at all. That’s a crock of shit, customers just like to play cat and mouse and hear the same questions over and over again. Everybody eats. Keep asking.
When your client’s partner tells you the trader has stepped away, he’s actually screening calls. Bang him with a couple aggressive IM’s and just keep calling. They will respect your tenacity.
If the client should inform you the PM has left for the day – that means they’ve jumped into the machines. And if they should say they’re going to be higher… they’re DEFINITELY in the machines.
If a stock should move significantly against you while working and order, don’t waste your time trying to get the client on the phone. Instead, take advantage of the liquidity. Stocks move – Customers know that.
Morning looks are optional depending upon how much sleep you’ve had the night before or if you’ve got bigger orders to tend to.
Whether you’re bring clients to a sporting event or a show, be sure to casually point out how expensive and hard to get those tickets were at least five times. This can go on for weeks.
All clients are brilliant traders, hysterically funny and very good looking.
Never let friendship get in the way of stealing a coworkers account.
Sales traders are required to leave the office no later than 4:05. If you stay later than that, you’re making us all look bad.
When dealing with car services after a night out, be sure to put client in the first car that arrives unless of course you’re really banged up or the client gave you some song and dance about not being able to do business with your firm (if that’s the case – then fuck’em, get in the first car and cancel the second).
You are personally responsible for all economic data, spikes in crude and anything else that causes the stock to move against the client. It comes with the job.
While in the getting to know your client phase, it’s a good idea to avoid racials slurs. Not everybody marries within there own breed.
There is no such thing as a slow buy side desk. Don’t let try to confuse you with phrases such as “We’ve got nothing going on” or “My PM’s on vacation this week”… You’re being hornswaggled. Just keep them on the phone until they give you something. Show them your not stupid.
Whenever possible choose the village idiot to be your back up. This limits account theft and makes your customers appreciate you more when you return.
Don’t get hung up on the big picture. Make what you can when you can. Your client gave you the order for a reason – to make money. So don’t be afraid to plug’em at the top. They’ll come back sooner or later.
Sales traders need to lie if they are to survive. You must lie if it helps you get an order, get out of trouble or it helps build your credibility. I was once taught, by one of the legends of Wall Street, that the only reason they call us Traders is because the term Liars was already taken.
Unless you work for a third market firm, you can’t send your clients on vacation or buy the Plasma TV’s, so laugh at their stupid jokes and tell them how smart they are.
If your client should feel comfortable enough to share photo’s of his children with you, it’s poor form to poke fun of his sons goofy ears and fucked up teeth.
Done for the day,
Dopey
