The walls weren’t covered with ivy, but it was a reputable school. I may not of attended every class, but I made it to most of them. I didn’t get any awards, but I did get the diploma. I didn’t get the offer to be editor-in-chief for Double Day, but – I can read… So you can STOP CALLING!
The 1st Thursday & Friday of each month really suck – well pre 4:00pm pm that is. Employment numbers remind us it’s time to doctor up Heard on The Street articles with underlines and notes before heading into the morning meeting. We can’t just stroll in with the NY Post open to photos of Lindsay snorting lines off the crapper at Bungalow 8. This isn’t the sell side.
Readers Digest might have gone the way of the Two Coreys but that doesn’t mean I don’t still need cliff notes. Yeah… yeah, we all know the early bird gets the worm, the early train never gets in late and there’s no substitute for hard work … blah blah blah… I get it. I really do. But I’m sorry, this is a cut and paste business in a cut and paste world and there’s no way I’m reading those 216 emails sitting in my inbox before my morning call. Anyway, reality has proven that if you ain’t stealing, your shit gets stolen.
Who upgraded it? Who downgraded it? What’s the new price target? Short n’ sweet. EBITDA is for the CFA’s -bacon, egg n’ cheese with XL coffee is for the traders. Really your guy is top rated in Institutional Investor and he just initiated WMT with a neutral? Wow. Awesome call. I’ll be sure to present that idea on a silver platter. Wait, OPEC just cut production in half and your sector specialist likes oil here? Impressive. Your originality is going to have my pm salivating worse than Spitzer with socks on.
I got your email and see your Bloomberg. Do I really need to pick you up? Are you all the same? “Hey, good morning. I just sent you an email.” [deleted] “I also shot you a Bloomberg in case you missed it.”… “and I just wanted to follow up and let you know that…Wa Wa… Wa Wah Wah Wa”. Is it just me..? Or has the entire sell side taken the ‘just keep talking but don’t say anything’ course from Charlie Brown’s teacher?
I can read,
Gravy Train
