‘Twas The Year He Took Office
by Dopey
’Twas the year he took office,
When all through the nation;
The upper class waited, for their white-collar castration.
The stock market tumbled for months in despair,
Soon the failing economy would also be there.
The feds were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of subsidies danced in their heads.
With the dollar falling down, and I with my salary cap,
I had not saved enough, and I was scared crap.
History was changing, so proud would be Martin Luther,
This was his dream, this was his future.
Into the middle did the upper class fall,
While Obama won the Peace Prize for nothing at all.
At the London G-20 meeting there arose such a clatter,
Rioters were clever as lumpy pancake batter.
So naïve were their signs and dimwitted chatter.
They shouted “Jobs Not Bombs!” and “Abolish Money!”
I loved when the police clubbed them… I thought it was funny.
The March melt-down pressed hard, we hit a new low.
And the economy still crumbling– watch out below,
Then what disturbing news came to pass;
The Sham-wow guy arrested after a prostitute kicked his ass.
Then without warning, so sudden and quick,
Celebrities started dropping like flies – it was sick.
More rapid than lightning, the headlines they came,
One after one, the news called them by name:
Farrah Fawcett!, Michael Jackson! and Billy Mays kicked the can.
Even washed-up insignificant Ed Mcmahon.
Mister Rourke! Patrick Swayze! Johnny Fontaine and Ted!
Carradine’s a twisted mystery, but still – he’s dead.
The Feds ran the autos, but the consumer was tight,
So they printed cash for clunkers, to get through the night.
And out to the dealerships the undeserving flew;
To put themselves in new cars paid for by you.
In Business-101 we learn to pay down debt;
But we keep printing – no matter how bad things get.
No surprise, in a twinkling, the dollar’s value went poof!
While gold, silver and platinum all went through the roof!
Then the market reversed sharply, with a violent jerk,
And the hedgie’s got whip-sawed, despite all their work.
Since sheep chased indexes like little scaredy cats;
We got to wear our Dow ten-thousand hats.
Madoff stole Billions, busted fudging his books,
Signaling to Main Street we’re nothing but crooks.
Such a sad untruth. We are not all the same.
I hope he gets rammed playing the drop the soap game.
When insider knowledge leaked from the gap in his teeth,
Feds started with Raj then took down everyone beneath.
Insider tips spread from IBM, Intel and Polycom,
And in the wink of an eye, Galleon was Gone.
Tiger Woods shocked us all, always dipping his bone,
Night clubbers, porn stars, and some still unknown.
Including the Waffle House waitress that’s eleven he’s done.
Tiger must be tired of the old ‘hole in one’.
They own the autos and the lenders – they’re not dummies.
Just think what you’d buy if you could print money.
These leftist ideas keep coming up short,
Just look at Healthcare, it needs life support.
Unemployment – how it’s rising! No Jobs, how scary!
His smooth talks no longer working, people are wary.
But I heard him exclaim, as he drove out of site,
“Happy Christmas to all, and …. Shit the teleprompter just went down!”
Merry Christmas,
Dopey
Readers who appreciated this should also enjoy my 2008 financial crisis recap – The Fed That Stole Christmas.
