You This is trader talk for somebody else is asking me why the stock’s dislocated and I don’t have a fucking clue. It’s actually a very efficient means of gathering intelligence because since everybody likes to be the one with the answer – everyone who gets pinged usually pings at least two more more until the answer is found and the information gap has been filled.
[Every once in a while you get some doofus client who says, “Hey ask your guy why Microsoft is so weak today.” and you hang up and realize that it’s only down 6 cents and actually outperforming the rest of tech. In that instance just ignore the request and get back to surfing the web- the guys obviously an idiot.]
Why’d the market sell off? Not much different than above explanation but the answers usually pertain to bigger picture type stuff. It’s kind of a loser question if there wasn’t really a sharp reversal or the markets not up or down at least 250 points. It’s not uncommon for the phone to ring and some PM whipping boy to ask, “Hey, You hearing why the market just sold off 90 points?” but for reasons unknown they never ask about the market when it’s up 100.
Who is that over there? After you get a decent sized order and send it to the position trader, the first thing they ask after the see the name of the account is, “Who is it over there?” Bro – don’t worry about who it is and just follow the instructions. It’s Brian but don’t call him, don’t Bloomberg him and don’t IM him. If you want me to be honest, he hates you after the last execution abortion you performed, so I lied and said somebody else was trading it.
Get me out with those guys – It’s something cavemen position traders blurt out after they finish a large order with an account they historically never paid an ounce of attention to. I think in his Neanderthal mind, that because he just did an “ok” job on the order, he has now bonded with the account. – Yeah OK pal, I’ll let you know next time I’m out with them…
Is this a good account? This is a position traders way of saying “GULP” after realizing the super message your client is responding to (the one he just blasted to the entire street with reckless abandon) was way too aggressive.
You OK if cross’em here? Uh oh. With one raised eyebrow, a finger on the trigger and a look of forceful assumption this is the question you get from your trader when your about to get Daffy Ducked. You’re probably down to tag ends and about to sell your last 100k on the low of the day to buyer who will probably be around for the next week and a half. Big wheel keeps on moving.
Can you pick him up? That’s sales trader-to-trader talk for I have no clue what this guy is asking me.
Get More! – Something traders yell out after being way too aggressive in getting you done. It’s their way of trying to transfer the bad execution blame onto you because you couldn’t get more stock to average down with.
You want me to keep you up? – Dude. Why even bother asking? We both know you’re not going to anyway – stop setting yourself up for failure. If you must ask something – ask me something you can handle… next time you complete and order for me, instead of pretending to have focus, just ask me if I like bar-b-que spare ribs.
Tell him I said hi and I’ll give him a call. – This is something a position trader (who wasn’t invited) will say when he hears your going out with a client he traded for once and it’s usually when you’re running for the elevator trying to avoid him. Apparently he seems to think they “hit it off” on that Citibank order. Trust me dipshit, he has no idea who you are.
You see what we’re doing in this right? This translates into forgetful trader talk for “Shit – I know you’ve been involved all day, but I forgot to tell you we were crossing stock.”… This always immediately followed by “Well I did announce it over the top.”
You think this guy is done? – “Bro- You just ran the stock thirty-five cents on 25k shares! Yeah, I’m pretty sure he’s done (here).”
Make sure he knows how much that hurt! – This is something cowboy traders who like to outsize the market with blind bids and offers like to yell over the top after they get taken apart. They honestly don’t give a shit and actually get off on the false sense of obligation they think the client manning the machine gun now feels… This phrase is shouted out for management to over hear so they they don’t get their wings clipped.
I’m on with him now – This is your typical sales trader response to the above and really means you’re holding a dead phone to your ear, looking somber and moving your lips whil thinking the trader’s a fucking idiot for making these stupid markets and now I’m supposed to beg for sympathy orders???? Keep skinny dipping in the pond and sooner or later something’s gonna bite your flapdoodle.
Where did I buy that last 25k? – I can’t prove it but I know you fucked me.
I’ll get you a look in the morning,
Dopey
