Recent study by the Oregon Health & Science University shows that transacting with crossing networks and dark pools on a regular basis may cause muscular eye disorders.
F.W. Fraunfelder, MD, of the Casey Eye Institute led the study, looking at reports of double vision (diplopia), loss of full range of motion of the eyes (ophthalmoplegia) and in more severe cases the eyes go crossed, no longer properly aligning with each other and point inwards towards the nose (strabismus).
The American Academy of Ophthalmology in conjunction with the CDC has asked that we share this study with the trading community to help avoid any further spread of this epidemic. Until a solution can be found, we here at DopeyCowboy.com strongly suggest avoiding dark pools, crossing networks and algorithms at all cost. There haven’t been any reported eye disorders linked to algos yet -but why take the chance.
When these studies began in 2004, the disorder was rare, occurring in only 1.7 percent of buy-side traders, but consistent with dark pool market share gains, increased numbers of optically challenged traders are being reported in startling numbers. These cockeyed crossing network devoted stooges now represent an estimated 8.5 to 12% of the industry and those numbers are continuing to climb at an alarming rate.
Of the 137 buy-side traders reported on, 23 lost eye range of motion, 8 experienced drooping eye lids, 106 people went completely cock-eyed and for reasons unknown all Boston participants were found to have exceptionally small penises (we’re not sure if that has any correlation to crossing networks but definitely worth mentioning). The good news is that once patients stopped using crossing networks and started using sales traders for all of their trading needs, their vision was fully restored. Unfortunately, there was no change to the pimple size winkies in Beantown.
For the sake of the industry and your livelihood, I strongly suggest forwarding this urgent awareness notice on to all of you clients ASAP (especially those in Boston).
If you think reading research reports sucks now, try doing it through a kaleidoscope.
-Dopey
